


Thaurens Photographer AU

by Hamiltalian



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2019-10-05 17:43:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17329544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hamiltalian/pseuds/Hamiltalian
Summary: Disclaimer: The last thing I want to do is make light of this kind of thing happening, that’s not at all what I’m trying to do here. It’s a tragedy that this ever happens and I feel afraid of it every time I go outside. I know that not all cops are bad, I’m not trying to insinuate that they are. This is fiction, a story that I wrote because the idea just made itself into my brain and I’m genuinely sorry to anyone who it may offend.





	1. Chapter 1

Thomas sighed and leaned back against the table, smiling at the children that were running around. He wasn’t sure about this event at first, about doing a free art show for all of the elementary schools in the city, but it wasn’t seeming too bad now. Most of the kids were respectful, asking whatever questions they had and listening to what he said as he helped them take a picture of their friends, if they were interested, but there were a few little brats that he had to turn away, whether it was because they were being rude to other kids or him or because they tried to force him to give them his camera (like that would ever work).

For now, though, he had a moment of peace. Another group of artists or something had just arrived and he guessed that they were over there. So, in the moment of peace, he grabbed his camera and began looking around, snapping pictures of anything that seemed captivating enough. He looked everywhere and even moved around some, staying a few feet around his spot, but moving around until something caught his eye in the next row.

A man, presumably an artist, stood there, carrying a kid and pointing at a canvas, showing them details while their friends stood, surrounding his feet and listening just as carefully. There was such emotion, so much happiness in his face… He could see the sparkle in his eye from a mile away, and the way that his smile spread across his face.. Even his posture showed his excitement, his back straight, but relaxed and with a slight forward lean.

Oh, god, why was he just staring?! He lifted his camera back to his eye and snapped away, taking as many pictures as he could. He even continued as he finished his presentation and waded through to the edge of the crowd, putting the kid he’d been in a wheelchair. He blushed and stopped, though, as he turned and looked him right in the eye. He gulped and dropped his camera, just staring as the stranger just stared right back, curious more than anything.

The kids dissipated and the stranger walked over, arms crossed over his chest and a less than pleased look on his face.

“And may I ask why you thought it was okay to just take pictures of me?”

“I was going to ask for permission to do anything with them, honestly. I just…” Thomas paused and glanced down at his camera, looking at the picture of him with the kid in his arm, looking right over at him in the split second before he realized what was happening. “You seemed so happy with those kids.. It’s rare you see real emotion these days.”

He nodded. “Well, I don’t see a point in faking it, especially not around these kids. They’re so good and innocent.. And when they aren’t, it only gives me more of a reason to try and make their day…” John had, unfortunately, been one of those kids, one whose innocence was taken far before he should’ve ever lost it. He would’ve given anything to get it back, or to have at least a day of being a real kid again… At least, that was true years ago. Real life stole that desire from him.

Thomas simply smiled and nodded, not being able to pick up the hint of sadness in John’s voice. His joy had been so intense, he was still hearing it. “You’re right.. Some of these kids are real brats, though, don’t you think?”

He shook his head. “It’s not their fault. If they don’t grow out of it by high school, then they’re brats. Now, they just need to be lead in the right direction.” He’d admit, he’d been that kind of kid, but it was a defense mechanism more than anything, a way to keep people from trying to get close to him and to keep him from getting close to them.

Thomas raised his eyebrows in surprise a bit and nodded slowly. He was so forgiving.. And, now, he starting to see why. “You really seem to like kids.” Still, he didn’t want to pry.

“I wanted to be a teacher, but things didn’t work out. I had to leave school,” he shrugged, though he was clearly deeply disappointed by that. “But that’s a story for a close friend, not a stranger,” he quickly added.

“Who says we have to stay strangers?” Thomas asked. He’d never met someone who was so open and real, but he wasn’t stupid. He could also see the walls that he had up. He wanted to see what he’d find once John let those walls down, in his own time, without Thomas trying to tear them down.

He scoffed. Either this guy wanted to try and tear down his walls or he hadn’t even looked that deeply into him or he was just trying to tear into his pants.

“Why don’t we get to know each other a little better over coffee? Say, after this event?” Coffee. Something fairly casual, not too forward, just a nice first date. Hopefully first.

He thought about the offer for a second before nodding. A free coffee was the best John thought he could get out of this guy. After all, he was an artist as well, he knew what kind of budget he could’ve been working on. He wasn’t going to push it. “Alright. No harm in just getting some coffee.” He smiled a bit. “I’m John, by the way.” He held a hand out.

“I’m Thomas.” He shook his hand and smiled. “And I will see you, John, at the end of the day.”

There it was again. It was a bit smaller and a bit more guarded, but there was that genuine smile that made Thomas’s heart melt. “It’s a date.” John agreed.

“And I’m already hoping for many more.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The last thing I want to do is make light of this kind of thing happening, that’s not at all what I’m trying to do here. It’s a tragedy that this ever happens and I feel afraid of it every time I go outside. I know that not all cops are bad, I’m not trying to insinuate that they are. This is fiction, a story that I wrote because the idea just made itself into my brain and I’m genuinely sorry to anyone who it may offend.

Saturday night. Date night for Thomas and John, and they were just about to leave the apartment when Thomas glanced at John.

“Hold it. Right there,” he said suddenly, grabbing John’s shoulders and moving him to the right place.  

“What?” John asked with a laugh.

Thomas smiled. “You look stunning. Just wait while I grab my camera.”

“Thomas!” John complained, though clearly far from annoyed.

“Wait!” Thomas warned before running over to their room, coming back with his camera.

John let out an overdramatic, exasperated sigh before smiling and posing, knowing that it was his only way out.

“You just look great, okay? There, I’m done,” Thomas said, an obvious smile in his voice. He put the camera in its case to take with him, knowing that he was going to find some other place where John was going to look great in his hoodie and jeans, then smiled at John, who rolled his eyes and reached for his phone as it suddenly rang.

“Who is it?” Thomas asked, just curious.

John paused, silent for a moment before answering softly. “It’s my dad…”

“Oh..” Thomas muttered, expression falling. John’s father.. The same man who banished him from his own home the second he turned 18, not letting him come near his much younger siblings. “I’ll let you get it.”

“No, we can go. He’s probably asking me if I stole his stupid watch again,” John responded, clearly annoyed. He grabbed his phone and answered it, following Thomas outside and to the car. “Hello?”

“Jack.. We need to talk,” his father said, a clear urgency in his voice.

“What is it?”

“It’s about James.. He and his friends were out fooling around and some police officers saw them running around and..” He paused. “Just come to the hospital. Now.”

John didn’t know how to react, so he didn’t. He sat in the car and kept the phone to his ear, Thomas shutting the door for him.

John never thought it could happen to any of his siblings or himself, for that matter. But the possibility was always in the back of his mind, looming like a dark cloud. Now, here was the thunder. James was a good kid. Straight As, never got detention. People always assumed James would be a troublemaker just because Henry Jr was and they were twins, but the two couldn’t have been more different. And now, John was being told that he’d been shot down, like an animal. Just for running around. Just because he looks like a troublemaker. Just because people see him and his family members and see trouble.

“Jack, are you listening to me?” his father’s voice rang, pulling John out of his thoughts.

“I’m on my way,” John finally replied in a rush. The second the line went dead, he dropped his arm with an exasperated sigh, feeling Thomas’s hand on his shoulder.

“What happened?” he asked, urgently.

“James. He.. I have to go to the hospital. Now,” John replied, his voice hard.

Thomas didn’t dare question it and drove them to the hospital as quickly as he could. The second that they got to the hospital, John jumped out of the car and sprinted inside, stopping near the entrance as he realized something. That was the last thing James was able to do before it happened. That burst of adrenaline and pounding heartbeat that came with a sprint.. Did he even realize it?..

Thomas came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder, leading him into the hospital and to the nurse’s station. “We’re here to see James Laurens. This is his brother,” Thomas said in a rushed tone.

The nurse behind the counter nodded and calmly searched up the room before giving them the room number and the directions.

John walked fast with Thomas to the room and slowed down when he found his family, pulling all three of his other siblings into a hug. He even felt his father’s hand on his shoulder. This wasn’t the time for them to fight, and they both knew it.

John’s father pulled him aside and let out a heavy sigh before speaking, keeping his tone soft. “They can’t do anything for him. They knew that when he got here. He’s lost too much blood. They’ve given him morphine to ease his pain and they’ve cooled him down so we could all get the chance to say goodbye..”

Goodbye. That word felt like a punch in the stomach.

“Listen.. I know we’ve never seen eye to eye, but you should be the one in there when it happens. Go, I’ll wait with the others.”

John didn’t hesitate to walk into the room, holding in a sob. He didn’t know what James could sense, but he did not want him to live his last moments in fear. John walked over and sat in the chair beside him, taking his hand.

“Hey, James…” he began, speaking softly. He wasn’t sure what kind of reaction he was expecting, if he was expecting any kind of reaction, but James managed to surprise him.

While James didn’t make any motion to look at his brother, he did squeeze his brother’s hand the tiniest bit. James wanted to do more, to look at his brother, to tell him that he knew John was there, but he couldn’t.. As hard as he tried, he couldn’t, and he couldn’t when the others had come to see him. That tiny sign was all he could give.

But for John that was enough. His brother was still alive, and James could hear and feel him there. Whatever else he could feel, John could only hope that it wasn’t too bad. “I’m here for you, Jemmy.. I’m here for you until the end.” He raised his brother’s hand to his lips and kissed it, not reacting to the cold, clammy skin that met his lips. “Everything’s going to be okay. You’re going to be able to finally meet mom and we’re going to be alright down here.” His mom… John’s mom had died during childbirth, so James hadn’t even gotten to meet her. “We’re going to miss you, just like we miss her… But it’s going to be fine, knowing that you’re going to be safe.” James was finally going to be able to experience the warmth of their mother’s care. John just wished that this didn’t have to happen to make that possible. “I’m sorry I couldn’t spend more time with you, but I hope to god you know that I love you. You’re my brother, James, and I love you. You and the other three.” He kissed his hand again and glanced up at the silent heart monitor. They were running out of time..

James squeezed his brother’s hand again. James may have been young, but he wasn’t naive. He couldn’t feel much, but he did notice a few things. He couldn’t see.. He couldn’t open his eyelids if he wanted to. And all he could feel was his brother’s hand in his own. He was scared… Of course he was scared.. But having John there made things that much easier and that was all he could ask for.

“I’m here, Jemmy.. I promise you, I’m not leaving you.” John squeezed his hand and kissed his forehead before resting his head beside his and singing “Dreaming Of You” by Selena, one of the songs that their mother sang to John when he was much younger. At her request, it had been the last thing John sang to her before she died and, now, it was going to be one of the last things James heard.

It was hard to get the words out, of course. Every few phrases, John was interrupted by a sob in his throat, but every time, he choked it down and steadied himself, then continued singing for his brother, unaware of Thomas’s presence in the room. He wanted to make sure his brother knew he’d remember him, that he’d always miss him.

And he knew. James wished that he could let John know that he knew.

From across the room, Thomas had tears rolling down his own cheeks as the scene unfolded in front of him and took as many pictures as he could. John’s pain was just so real, the suffering in his eyes as clear as day, despite how calm he was trying to sound.

And it was only getting harder for John with every passing second. He wanted nothing more than to break down, to sob and scream over the injustice that was his brother’s death, but he couldn’t do that. According to the brainwaves that were being captured, he was still alive. And John was not going to let his brother let his last memory be of his older brother’s wailing.

But the second that the activity stopped, the second that every monitor in the room told him the same thing, told him that James was gone, John let it all out.

Screams and wails tore themselves from his throat and he clutched the blanket on his brother’s bed as tightly as he could, hard enough that he could feel his fingernails right through it.

Thomas wanted to catch each moment, every last second of raw emotion that John was going through, but even he couldn’t resist going to his boyfriend’s side. Thomas put his hand on John’s back. “I’m here, baby,” he said quietly.

John reached back and grabbed his hand, squeezing the life out of it while gently holding his brother’s hand. The rest of his family came in and joined in the mourning, sobbing and crying around John.

John held them all and forced himself to calm down, leading them out of the room. They were only kids.. Martha was only sixteen and the other two were only thirteen, just like James had been. It wasn’t something they should be seeing, something they shouldn’t have to experience. Not at any age.

He had them sit before going to his father, discussing what they would do next. Of course, it had already gotten to the press. They decided that John would be involved, he was part of the family and refused to stay silent about it, and there would be a private funeral service. As public as his father was about things, that much, he could agree on.

John ended up spending the night at the hospital, not wanting to leave yet, and Thomas was right with him the entire time.

In the morning, they went home and Thomas showed John the pictures he took, as he always did. If John didn’t want him taking them, he could always delete them. That’s what he figured. But John didn’t want a single picture deleted. It hurt to look through them. The pictures brought him back into the moment. It brought back the tightness in his throat and the soreness in his body. The feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach and the heaviness in his heart, his body broken with the knowledge that he was never going to see his brother smiling and laughing and running around like a kid again. He felt it. Thomas felt it. It was the kind of thing that, if he had to, other people should have to feel, especially those that just thought of it as a mistake. His brother’s death was many things, but those who called it just a mistake were mistaken themselves.

Thomas sat beside him and ran his hand over his back in gentle circles. “I’m so sorry, baby..” he whispered, kissing his cheek.

“He was too young..” John cried out softly.

“I know..” Thomas sighed. He couldn’t imagine how much John was feeling, how badly he was suffering. All Thomas wanted to do was comfort him, to hold him and assure him that things were going to get better. And he promised himself that he was going to do just that.


	3. Chapter 3

John was quick to shut off his alarm, not wanting to wake up his boyfriend. After all, it was three in the morning. He didn’t want to be awake himself. Unfortunately, he didn’t have much choice. Not with the trip he had to take. His father was getting remarried in a week and had set up some stupid whatever with the media beforehand, even though he wasn’t having a private ceremony. Even worse, Thomas wasn’t allowed to come along. John didn’t like it, but he only had so much say in the matter.

So, there he was, waking up alone for his flight. He sat up and began getting out of bed, stopped by an arm wrapping around his waist.

“Thomas.. I have to go.”

“You’re already packed. You took a shower last night. You can spare a few minutes.”

John couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “Thomas.. Seriously. I’ll be back before you know it..” Two weeks wasn’t too long. Besides, once the week of press was over, the week with his family would practically fly by.

“Maybe not for you. Come on, I know you. You’ll be waiting at the airport an hour before your flight leaves. Let me just take a few minutes off of that,” Thomas asked, lowering his hand into John’s shorts, making him let out a low groan.

Well… Thomas did have a point. John supposed he could spare a few minutes.

“Okay, but make it quick.”

“Well, I’m not usually one to finish quickly, but for you, no problem,” Thomas joked, grabbing John by his waist and pulling him onto the mattress.

John chuckled and let Thomas pull his clothes off, shivering at the cold air. Luckily, that wasn’t a problem for long.

Thomas leaned down and kissed his boyfriend, the other feeling the eagerness in his actions. Thomas wasn’t one to rush, but if they were one a time limit, they were on a time limit. So, he didn’t waste any time before reaching over to the nightstand and grabbing a bottle of lube and a condom. When both men needed a break for breath, Thomas pulled away and opened the bottle of lube, John snagging the condom and opening the wrapper.

“After what you did before we slept, I don’t think I’m going to need any prep.”

Thomas chuckled and took the condom, putting it on before lubing himself up. “Well, sorry for thinking of you first.”

John shook his head. “If you were really thinking of me, you would’ve gotten me off now and taken care of yourself later.”

Thomas shrugged. “Where would the fun in that be?”

“I think you know exactly where the fun in that is,” John joked before pulling Thomas down into another heated kiss.

Thomas returned the kiss and shifted so he was between John’s legs, feeling the smaller man instinctively wrap his legs around his waist. Thomas broke away from the kiss and moved his lips down toward John’s neck, trailing kisses over the skin as he pushed into him.

John moaned and gripped Thomas’s shoulders, his face flushed dark red.

Thomas grinned and held John’s hips as he began to thrust his own, groaning and quickly setting a fast pace.

John cursed under his breath and began to jerk himself off at the same time.

Ordinarily, Thomas wouldn’t have let him, but they were trying to get done quickly, so he let it be, trying to get John off before both of them were left unsatiated.

It was maybe another minute before John began panting, feeling the pressure of his rapidly upcoming orgasm building up in the pit of his stomach. “Fuck,” he gasped out. “I’m so close.”

But Thomas was the one who reached his climax first, groaning and shoving himself into John as he filled his condom. “Sorry.. I couldn’t hold out any longer.” He pulled out, making John whine, and reached down, stroking his boyfriend to completion.

John buried his face in the pillows, muffling his moans as he came.

Thomas grabbed his camera with his clean hand and gently turned John onto his side, taking a few pictures of his spent body before zooming in to his lustful expression. “God, you’re beautiful,” he muttered as he did so. “These are going to keep me busy the whole trip,” he joked before leaning down and pecking John’s lips. “I am going to miss you, though.. For more than sex, of course.”

John nodded. “I know and I’m going to miss you too..” He smiled up at Thomas before rolling off of the bed and getting himself dressed. “I’ll be back in two weeks.”

“I’m holding you to that,” Thomas responded, looking through the pictures to find the best ones to keep. “If you’re not back, I’ll kick your ass.”

John laughed and walked out of the room, then out of the house, going to the airport.

All the while, Thomas smiled to himself, glancing across the room at their dresser, where he’d hidden a ring from John. Maybe when he got back, they’d begin planning their own wedding.


End file.
